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When breath becomes air!!!

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I haven't read many memoirs before. I found this one by Paul Kalanithi profoundly poignant of courage, dedication, love and loss. Paul was diagnosed with lung cancer at the age of 36 when he was completing the last year of his Neurosurgery residency and after 22 months, he died in March 2015 while his daughter Cady was just 8 months old. Paul had earned degrees in Literature,Biology and Medicine from Ivy league universities and aspired to be a Neurosurgeon-scientist and as a writer. A gifted doctor,a brilliant scientist,a passionate writer,a loving son, brother ,husband and father .. numerous were the role he played and I believe he played all of these roles flawlessly well. Throughout the book , I was amazed by his wisdom and the myriads of books he would have read. He replaced his love for literature and ambition to be a writer with neurosurgery to do something tangible by saving lives.After years of grueling residency and long hours at work, Paul and his wife Lucy was going th...
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Pause and Breathe !!!!!!!!!

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Today is one of those days feeling completely lost about what I am doing and where I am going. I feel completely panicked, stressed and confused.And the one who has to bear the brunt of my frustration is my little one. I loose my temper and yell at him when he demands my attention for his needs. After that, the guilt of yelling adds fuel to the already burning fire. I am suffering from the 'Not up-to the mark' syndrome. I have decided to transition to something I like. I was preparing quite well for it. But suddenly I am caught up in this whirlwind of thoughts as to what if I couldn't get into this profile, what if I flunk the exam, what if I fail the interview then, what if they wouldn't open a role for me. So many what-if's and here I am in the midst of chaos, not knowing the right or wrong, sobbing quietly. I am one person who wants to be the best at what I do. I love attention, appreciation,respect and want to be the best in my team. But the mind wants more...
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The Mystery woman

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