Concoction of all that is beautiful in Our life

Today is one of those days feeling completely lost about what I am doing and where I am going. I feel completely panicked, stressed and confused.And the one who has to bear the brunt of my frustration is my little one. I loose my temper and yell at him when he demands my attention for his needs. After that, the guilt of yelling adds fuel to the already burning fire. I am suffering from the 'Not up-to the mark' syndrome. I have decided to transition to something I like. I was preparing quite well for it. But suddenly I am caught up in this whirlwind of thoughts as to what if I couldn't get into this profile, what if I flunk the exam, what if I fail the interview then, what if they wouldn't open a role for me. So many what-if's and here I am in the midst of chaos, not knowing the right or wrong, sobbing quietly. I am one person who wants to be the best at what I do. I love attention, appreciation,respect and want to be the best in my team. But the mind wants more...

Oh my dear March !!!!  March is my birthday month and so I was beaming with happiness as I was going to be in Kerala to celebrate my thirtieth. The mere thought of being surrounded by loved ones and celebrating my thirtieth birthday filled so much joy in me , I was eagerly waiting to fly to Kerala. Being in a tight project schedule, I literally had to beg for a week's holiday. Finally after cajoling and imploring, the huddle of leave sanction was done.Then on the day of travel when we reached the airport , our flight was cancelled. The next flight we got was on Monday. Spent the Saturday and Sunday killing time and cursing the airlines, I waited impatiently . And once the flight landed Kerala, I was jumping with joy. No matter how bad the weather is , how gossipy the people are , I love Kerala. When we reached home , Daddy told me Amma was not feeling well since few days. She is suffering from some gastric trouble. Minor gastric issues and I thought she would be ok soon. Later af...