Concoction of all that is beautiful in Our life

Deep in thoughts , I couldn't fathom this mystery woman in me. There are many things about myself I don't understand . Trying to inculcate many new habits, trying to improve in whatever I could. Unable to choose the priorities, pondering over too many stuffs. Thinking how or where my career leads me. Where would I be in 5 years, leave 5 what about 2 or 3 years... There is too much stuffs to dooo, but hardly any recognition.... The way ahead is too vague and I have ambivalent emotions to that. Feeling alone and baffled,petrified and disturbed, I understand the only thing constant in life is 'change'. The utter state of confusion , a good mom, a role model employee, a great home maker... what could I do to manage all????? Is it possible to excel in one without worrying about something else.. I think it's not.. As approaching 30, I am too scared to think what I have achieved in my 30 years of existence..... Only thing I should hold on to is HOOOPPPEEEEE.... PATIENCE.....

I haven't read many memoirs before. I found this one by Paul Kalanithi profoundly poignant of courage, dedication, love and loss. Paul was diagnosed with lung cancer at the age of 36 when he was completing the last year of his Neurosurgery residency and after 22 months, he died in March 2015 while his daughter Cady was just 8 months old. Paul had earned degrees in Literature,Biology and Medicine from Ivy league universities and aspired to be a Neurosurgeon-scientist and as a writer. A gifted doctor,a brilliant scientist,a passionate writer,a loving son, brother ,husband and father .. numerous were the role he played and I believe he played all of these roles flawlessly well. Throughout the book , I was amazed by his wisdom and the myriads of books he would have read. He replaced his love for literature and ambition to be a writer with neurosurgery to do something tangible by saving lives.After years of grueling residency and long hours at work, Paul and his wife Lucy was going th...